Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
