i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Randomize
