i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
