some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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