I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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