look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
