What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
