So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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