You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
