Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
