Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
a search helicopter?!
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
