pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
