Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
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