Your mouth is God's brothel.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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