I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
