I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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