I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
