Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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