we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
