so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
