This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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