now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
