well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
