I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
