dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
