Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
