how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
