I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize