i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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