This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
