I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
