Christians are straight up FREAKS
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
