Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
She's not a foreskin expert like you
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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