she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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