i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
My ass is underappreciated
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
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