apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
