well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
be right there i have to get my cape
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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