Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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