he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
We had sex on a dog bed..
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
