Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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