We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Randomize
