after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
