oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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