but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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