she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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