Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Dick very happy bro
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
