Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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