Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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