babies were throwing up all over the place
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
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