Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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