why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
