just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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