ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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