Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
