It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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