Christians are straight up FREAKS
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
