u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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