My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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