I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Randomize
