This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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